Ladies, this is killing us: Domestic Violence and Guns

Sources are at the end of this post.

A woman is shot by a current or ex intimate partner once every 16 hours.

We have congressional leaders unwilling to implement gun safety measures that the vast majority of Americans want. The anniversary of the Massacre at Sandy Hook found the head of the NRA celebrating the holidays at the White House. The NRA is actively working (and succeeding) to stop meaningful legislation aimed at domestic/intimate abusers’ access to guns.

Reports indicate 4.5 million of our fellow sisters have been threatened by an intimate partner with a gun and 1 million have been shot. These are the NONFATAL statistics and these are only the reported incidents.

Ladies, we must do something to protect our sisters. Unlike the NRA, I do not believe the answer is arming ourselves; unless we are arming ourselves with protective legislation and local/state/federal regulation. Violence begets violence. We must examine the example we set for our children.

Most of my well-educated circle of friends and colleagues believe we have mandatory universal background checks in place – we do not. Licensed dealers are required to perform a background check; however, the exchange of guns through transfers, online sales, etc. comprises roughly 40% of ALL gun purchases. These are done without a background check.

Every time there is a mass shooting involving children, we collectively cry and mourn. When the dust settles, it’s always the same – history of domestic aggression/violence/abuse and collection of firearms.

When will that crying be replaced with collective anger and action?

Here’s what I’d like to suggest: if every woman in the US joined the NRA, we would control it. We could implement meaningful change to protect our sisters, trapped in domestic and judicial situations they cannot control. We can’t stop mass shootings, but we could take a step toward curtailing them.

What else can we do? The #MeToo movement is strong and powerful, as was the Womens’ March. We have strength in numbers. Why don’t we save ourselves?

Support anything Chris Murphy does, same with Gabby Giffords. Support your local shelters, CASA, any organization trying to implement meaningful change. Share this post, write your own post (with sources for statistics and information), do SOMETHING.

Vote. Stop this epidemic.

Every sister is my sister.

I don’t want to hear stories about an abusive husband murdering of his wife and children over a looming divorce he does not want, or a boyfriend with a record breaking a restraining order and killing a roomful of employees at his girlfriend’s office, or another mass shooting by a white male with a clear history of domestic violence and an arsenal of firearms. Enough! Aren’t we all sick. Aren’t we all tired. It is enough.

One of these stories could, and odds are will, be about a friend of mine. A family member. Me. It’s enough.


Thousands of Guns, No Background Check Required

Domestic Violence & The Lautenberg Amendment

Did President Donald Trump Host the NRA on the Anniversary of the Sandy Hook Massacre?


Is the American Flag synonymous with weapons?

You may be tempted to stop reading. Please don’t.

Big fan of the Constitution. Largely supportive of the Founding Fathers (minus George’s predilection for using his slaves’ teeth to enhance his own wooden teeth). However, like many, I’m not sure they had assault weapons in mind when they wrote this and THIS is what it says:

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

I can’t provide you with a photo of a man holding this because we don’t really have photos from that time (PS – “man” is not a sexist stereotype), but this was a typical “weapon” in the days of our Founding Fathers: Founding Fathers' weapon

I can provide you with a photo of a man carrying one of today’s weapons (that is not as uncommon as one might think) because I used Google and found this image immediately:


Given that Alexander Hamilton was killed with a rather unextraordinary dueling pistol, he would probably have a few choice words about the gravity of the decision to express one’s thoughts via a grenade launcher, regardless of the militaristic or non-militaristic grade or agenda. In addition, if the founding fathers had know one of their own would be shot in rather cold blood…might they have considered a somewhat stricter definition of “the right of the people to keep and bear arms”? Even Jefferson must have been saddened at this gun-related tragedy of his Federalist rival.

We are in a unique position as Americans. Today is July 22, 2015. The following facts are current US statistics. How did I get them? Sadly, we have a website offering us a grotesque picture of gun-related violence. Heroes offer this website, which is a desperate appeal to stop this deadly insanity:

There have been, so far, over 27,000 gun-related incidents. There have been over 7,000 deaths. There have been 180 mass shootings (and that number has been reported AND verified). Here is the horror, and prepare yourself. If you have a heart, this will rock you.

404 children aged 0-11 have died from gun-related violence in the United States in 2015 (we are only 6 months into it) and over 1300 children aged 12-17 have died from gun-related violence.

Let it soak in. Imagine sitting in the Pirate or Hello Kitty – themed room of your child after he or she has been killed. Imagine that happened because he or she was attending, for example, SCHOOL.

Ready for something else?

Every Sunday, I attend Mass in a fairly small community in Lucerne, Switzerland. I have noticed before, there is a store that sells “Waffen,” which means weapons. I know literally no one in Switzerland that has a bullet. I know men that have their service weapons (so did my grandfather), but no one that actually owns ammunition. No one and I know tons of Swissies.

On Tuesday, I was in Lucerne during a weekday and at my church to light a candle. When I walked past the Waffen storefront, I saw the display.


Let that also sink in.

As a nation, our flag has become synonymous with weapons. Not only here in a small corner of a rather small town in Europe. Also, in the Middle East. Also, in Africa. Everywhere. As Americans, our flag is not synonymous with peace (like the white cross flag flying in my eyesight right now) or Olympic glory or bravery. Our great nation, established by our beloved Founding Fathers, is now associated with unbridled violence.

It’s no secret why the Founding Fathers established their new home – religious freedom. You can like that or not, but it’s a well-documented fact. Good news if you don’t like it, you’ll love the hypocrisy coming next. The foundation of Christianity rests in these words:

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

So, how would John Jay or Benjamin Franklin feel about the civilian purchase of a machine gun falling under the protection of the words they used to craft the 2nd?

Fellow Christians, do you find my reference to the Golden Rule in this context cliche or trite? Okay, what about James 4:12? Isaiah 33:22? What about that pesky commandment about not killing other people? Does your eye-for-an-eye because “Vengeance is mine” argument still hold fast? What about “blessed are the peacemakers”? Because, now, we are arming the actual peacemakers –  priests, educators, doctors. What would the singular member of the clergy who signed the Declaration of Independence, John Witherspoon, think of that?

And here are two more sobering statistics: 1,034 people have died in 2015 from accidental shootings and (only) 668 people have died from actual defensive use of a gun.

What do we do? Support candidates that do not support the NRA (which is the very tyranny the Founding Fathers feared, by the way). Get behind anything Gaby Giffords is doing (here and here). Why? Because she was shot, but she is not arguing for an elimination of weapons. She is sensibly arguing for “safe and responsible gun ownership.” This public servant and former Congresswoman has a LOT of good ideas.

Stop buying or promoting gun-based video games and stop finding it normal to watch a movie that has guns in every scene. That’s not normal to anyone in any other country in the world.

Speak and write. Write on FB. Write on Twitter. Speak at dinner parties. Stop being passive and let’s get Old Glory representing exactly what Old Glory should represent – bravery, courage, freedom.