Ladies, this is killing us: Domestic Violence and Guns

Sources are at the end of this post.

A woman is shot by a current or ex intimate partner once every 16 hours.

We have congressional leaders unwilling to implement gun safety measures that the vast majority of Americans want. The anniversary of the Massacre at Sandy Hook found the head of the NRA celebrating the holidays at the White House. The NRA is actively working (and succeeding) to stop meaningful legislation aimed at domestic/intimate abusers’ access to guns.

Reports indicate 4.5 million of our fellow sisters have been threatened by an intimate partner with a gun and 1 million have been shot. These are the NONFATAL statistics and these are only the reported incidents.

Ladies, we must do something to protect our sisters. Unlike the NRA, I do not believe the answer is arming ourselves; unless we are arming ourselves with protective legislation and local/state/federal regulation. Violence begets violence. We must examine the example we set for our children.

Most of my well-educated circle of friends and colleagues believe we have mandatory universal background checks in place – we do not. Licensed dealers are required to perform a background check; however, the exchange of guns through transfers, online sales, etc. comprises roughly 40% of ALL gun purchases. These are done without a background check.

Every time there is a mass shooting involving children, we collectively cry and mourn. When the dust settles, it’s always the same – history of domestic aggression/violence/abuse and collection of firearms.

When will that crying be replaced with collective anger and action?

Here’s what I’d like to suggest: if every woman in the US joined the NRA, we would control it. We could implement meaningful change to protect our sisters, trapped in domestic and judicial situations they cannot control. We can’t stop mass shootings, but we could take a step toward curtailing them.

What else can we do? The #MeToo movement is strong and powerful, as was the Womens’ March. We have strength in numbers. Why don’t we save ourselves?

Support anything Chris Murphy does, same with Gabby Giffords. Support your local shelters, CASA, any organization trying to implement meaningful change. Share this post, write your own post (with sources for statistics and information), do SOMETHING.

Vote. Stop this epidemic.

Every sister is my sister.

I don’t want to hear stories about an abusive husband murdering of his wife and children over a looming divorce he does not want, or a boyfriend with a record breaking a restraining order and killing a roomful of employees at his girlfriend’s office, or another mass shooting by a white male with a clear history of domestic violence and an arsenal of firearms. Enough! Aren’t we all sick. Aren’t we all tired. It is enough.

One of these stories could, and odds are will, be about a friend of mine. A family member. Me. It’s enough.


Thousands of Guns, No Background Check Required

Domestic Violence & The Lautenberg Amendment

Did President Donald Trump Host the NRA on the Anniversary of the Sandy Hook Massacre?


Ladies – do YOU build up or belittle other women?

In the past few weeks, I have been a part of a project that is mostly (4/5) female. I have been shocked and disappointed by the women, toward each other and toward me. Only one word applies and it’s a word I detest: bitchy.

Ladies, it is possible to acknowledge the strengths of other ladies, hell, to maybe even learn from them. It doesn’t weaken you OR your strengths. It doesn’t make you look stupid. You know what does make you appear stupid?

When you are a non-native English speaker and you do not accept help from someone with academic degrees and certifications in English. When you have little to no experience in oral presentations and you don’t accept help from someone who has done interviews, performances, and presentations for the past 12 years of her life. That doesn’t make anyone think you are stupid – you demonstrates that stupidity all by yourself.

It also demonstrates you are insecure and that you have a fragile ego. This is something which we have in common, again, as women. Most women have fragile egos, a reality which they either “cop to” or “cover up.” It’s the “cover-up” Queens that are the scary ones. That word I hate? It exclusively applies to the “cover up” Queens.

The “cop to” Chicks, in all walks of life, I respect. They all have one life strategy in common – they are confident with the skill sets they have (and those they lack), and do not feel the need to denigrate, demean, or disparage other women who have lesser OR stronger skills. Why would they? They are confident.

The female lecturers in the MILE (Mira Burri, Arancha Gonzalez, Gabrielle Marceau, Victoria Donaldson, Lee Ann Jackson, and others) have amazed and inspired me.

Though fully within their rights to have tattooed on their foreheads, “I am an international law and economics Bad Ass,” they don’t. They impart knowledge and they ask questions. In fact, they ask, “what do you think about what I just said?” and I think they are genuinely interested in the answer.

I spent 8 hours next to Donaldson during a dispute exercise and she gave me priceless wisdom, support, and encouragement. Burri is exactly the same. Gonzalez, Jackson…they all are. They are strong, vibrant women at the tops of their respective fields. They are “cop to” Chicks, who are committed to supporting and strengthening other women, not being afraid of or intimidated by women who are or want to be strong.

Imagine if all women were “cop to” Chicks. Imagine the effect on Fortune 500 companies, legislative bodies worldwide, homes, religious centers, shops and streets. Everyone’s talking about Bernie and Trump revolutions, what are we doing? There is a fully-qualified, articulate, wonderful woman running for President?? What about that revolution?

Just imagine what we could do.

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This image comes from this gal’s blog and it’s fabulous: