Tag: anxiety

The Dogwood Named “Dawson”

Posted on by lauraanneayres

Bärli,

Miracles happen daily. Hourly. Every minute, in fact.

A seed takes root in the ground, only to become a plant that provides a habitat for a butterfly’s egg. The egg hatches into a caterpillar, which then forms a chrysalis before transforming into a glorious butterfly.

Babies are born every minute, around this great, big, boundless world. I will never forget being pregnant, feeling you kick, looking down, and seeing the heel of your little foot. I can attest to the fact that there is something quite miraculous about the entire process of a creation.

Here’s a story of a tree, wrapped in a miracle. Possibly a miracle wrapped in a tree?

Dogwood trees are a special gift to this world. Producing beautiful blossoms that form the shape of the cross, I know not if the legend of the Dogwood is true or false. I do know the blossoms speak deeply to my faith. I see the shape of the cross, the red-tipped petals, and the yellow points at the core as being one of many ways that God calls out through Nature, “I am with you, always.” I have worn a dogwood and a cross around my neck, every day, for as long as I can remember.

For my birthday, Momma gave me a dogwood for our home. The Vaughans hail from the land of the dogwoods, Virginia. We love our native Texas trees, but our hearts will always hold a special love for the dogwood because of our family and faith roots.

We planted this dogwood and began envisioning its name (another tradition). I knew the name on Tuesday, May 14th at 9:00AM, after a prayer service. There was no other name for this precious tree. It symbolized new birth, new hope, God’s image – Dawson.

Early in the morning, on May 26th, Dallas was hit with a terrible storm. Winds reached well over 50mph, hail was thrown against our windows, tornado sirens sounded, our house shook. I was terrified for our tree. I couldn’t sleep,

I spent much of that early morning, speaking to Dawson, through the window. Unable to control myself, I went briefly outside. Yes, there I was leaning into the “tree hugger” stereotype, in the middle of a tornado watch. Dawson was going through Hell, but Dawson was damn sure not alone.

Sure enough? Eventually, the sun rose over Dallas, brutally damaged in many places in our neighborhood. Majestic, centuries-old oak trees uprooted. Windows shattered. So much damage.

Dawson? Maybe a few leaves.

The “why” behind some of the things that happen still baffles my faithful heart. Why does one house remain intact, while the house next door disappears? Why do the storm’s winds break through one window with almost pinpoint precision and leave untouched our own home’s taped-up one? Why does this vulnerable, weak, precious little tree make it? Why? Also, why the storm?

The stronger tree next to Dawson, Dawson was planted within the strength of its canopy, had a large turquoise ribbon around it and Dawson had a small one, I am convinced it helped protect Dawson. It, too, has a turquoise ribbon around its broad, wide trunk, with the initials “AH” and “AH” written on it. The strength of the bigger tree was miraculous. The prayers, whispered through a window that didn’t crack, were miraculous. Every tree, every moment, every child is miraculous.

But, Dawson just might be more miraculous than most.

Fear and Yogeet’s opinion on it

Posted on by lauraanneayres

Since Monday around 10:30AM, I have been riddled with fear. Something bad happened to me on Monday morning and fear took over. Those of you who’ve seen me since then (minus Liv, who saw me ugly cry after it happened) will be surprised it’s so bad. I’ve been my “normal” smiling, perky self.

Today, my schedule cleared up and I knew it. I must get to Yogeet (referred to as my “Indian healer” on this blog and my FB page). But there was serious fear because of what happened Monday. I won’t say how, but I got to Yogeet this morning.

What I happened at Yogeet’s changed me forever. There will be upcoming days and nights when I feel anxiety, but I do not think I will feel fear again.

After about an hour, I told Yogeet a Jewish story I’d heard about Death. A man lives in a village and hears Death is coming. He’s scared, so he leaves his home and goes to another village to avoid Death. He gets to the new place, there’s a knock on the door, and it’s Death. “Wasn’t looking for the place, I was looking for the person. It’s your turn, buddy.”

Yogeet listened. Then, he said, “I have a similar story.”

Shiva is a popular god in Hinduism. He is usually adorned with serpents and wears nothing except a cloth of tiger fur covering his “his”dom. The rather disturbing planet of justice, Saturn, was apparently headed for Shiva one day. Most people are afraid of Saturn’s justice and so was Shiva. In fact, Shiva was scared shiv-less, so he decided to go into the river. He created a shield for himself and stayed in the river for 7 ½ years, to avoid being touched by Saturn’s version of justice. After 7 ½ years, Shiva emerges from the river and confronts Saturn. “I did it. You didn’t get me.” Saturn’s response, “You kept yourself from your home, your life, and your entire world based on your fear of justice. Who won? Me or You?”

Okay, I’m paraphrasing Yogeet’s words (which I also might have baffled) and I am certainly far from the “proper” telling of this. I don’t think they refer to Shiva’s “his”dom, for example.

But this story changed me. It is one thing to feel anxious and nervous. It is another thing entirely to be so afraid that you live a life dominated by your fear of anyone, anything, or any possibility.

That is not a life.

I will try to write more about this later because I truly was changed today. But, what I can say is that I am on the train headed HOME. To my home. And on Sunday, my knees will bend and I will pray my weekly prayer AT MY CHURCH. My church. As I do every Sunday, I will repeat the same prayer, “Thank you for giving me strong legs, a strong spirit, and a strong heart.”