I remember a few years ago, L said something to me. It could have been during a moment of frustration? He told me it wouldn’t really matter if I could live forever in peace in Switzerland because I still would have problems and be unhappy (like I was then).
Oh, he was wrong. He was so wrong. (About so many things.)
I have a day and it’s August 10th. And I have a key to pick up. It is everything. It is the end.
The end of living next to an abuser and below a bully. The end of being afraid to speak my mind to people face-to-face when they purposely, willingly, knowingly cause me pain or hardship. The end of craving attention and feeling empty during “bravo”s. The end of all of that.
It is someone (some ones) opening up the golden birdcage and saying, “See the sky? It’s yours. Here’s the key.”
I think about the legal eagles, the politician, the Texan-sounding German, the Brit that wouldn’t hurt a fly unless someone hurt me, the fierce teddy bar of a Dutchman, the Indian healer, the church in Luzern and the Hospice in the Valais, the WSBFK, the Swiss sister, my German school bestie, and so many more. I think they will all hand me this key – together. They all helped me free myself.
It’s a big day for this blackbird and now, as of today, I know exactly when it will happen.
August 10, 2015