I imagine myself traveling to India with the intent of expanding my two-person family. I would do it in a heartbeat.
I imagine seeing a beautiful girl with a dim, but present, sparkle in her eye. She is not speaking, but I feel her speaking to me. I imagine myself feeling I am her mother.
I imagine she has never known the love every child should know. I imagine she is hungry, sad, and weary.
I imagine bringing her to my home, and giving her love and nourishment for her body, soul, and spirit.
I imagine struggles because she is malnourished, frustrated because she cannot communicate, and tired of being passed from home to home. I imagine myself feeling similarly frustrated at times, but overwhelmingly blessed by her.
Here are the things I cannot imagine.
I cannot imagine purposely causing harm to her for any reason under any circumstances.
I cannot imagine putting her by a tree in an area with coyotes at any time during the day. I cannot imagine letting her do anything unsupervised in an area with coyotes.
I cannot imagine punishing her for not drinking milk.
I cannot imagine letting her out of the house for any reason at 3AM.
I cannot imagine not calling the police (my family, my friends, and anyone else I could call) immediately upon the realization she was missing or possibly hurt.
I cannot imagine waiting five hours or five minutes to call the police.
I cannot imagine leaving the area in my car, even to look for her.
I cannot imagine doing laundry when she was missing because I can hardly imagine breathing.
I cannot imagine not cooperating with every police or FBI officer and every search party to find her. I cannot imagine not leading those search parties myself.
I cannot imagine withholding information about her location nor can I imagine lying about what I’ve done or not done to her, accidentally or deliberately.
I cannot imagine not imploring Acura’s Navigation system to track the GPS information and AT&T to do the same with the phone of anyone who might have harmed my daughter.
I cannot imagine 10 days passing and not being honest about the circumstances.
And, I speak for many people when I say this last part, I cannot imagine ever forgetting about this little girl. As long as she is missing, we will continue fighting for her to be found. We will never stop until she is found.
My prayer for you, Sherin with the sparkle in her eyes, is that you are peaceful for the first time in your life. You deserved better from our world, I’m sorry you have not had that. I do hope you have that now, wherever you are.