“You have such great control, Laura.” Irony, thy name is Friday Pilates.

I should preface this post by pointing out, today I have Oprah-cried in a train, in a tram, on the street, on a Pilates+ machine, and leaning against what turned out to be a dumpster.

Today, in my Pilates session, it was hard. Days are challenging and they feel heavy. There is physical pain as my back muscles are attempting to strengthen and there is emotional/mental/spiritual pain for reasons I need not unpack in a public forum. Getting back to Pilates, crying isn’t great when you need to focus on the Spider pose. When the 80th tear/snot combo fell, my fantastic cheerleader said, in an attempt to encourage me, I’m sure…

“You have such great control, Laura.”

Isn’t it ironic because the illusion of control is what got me into all these messes in the first place.

I think I’d prefer to be in control a little less. Someone told me to visualize what I wanted the other day. After, I asked him, “what do most people visualize?” “Lots of things – a person they love, an object, a vacation spot, a family reunion. Why, what did you visualize?” “Uh, a palm tree.”

Truth was, I visualized someone coming to me with a pillow, asking for all my problems, and telling me he’d take all my problems with him. I said something similar to J today on the phone. Wouldn’t it be nice to completely let go of the illusion of control? To have someone come to you and say, “I’m going to take all this away from you, I think you’ve had enough for now.”

I always like to end something a bit sad with something a bit silly. See picture below for a laugh.

As always, please donate to the Hospice of Grand St. Bernard and now you can “like” it on Facebook.