Taking a breath

Bärli,

It’s a strange time in the year. I feel aware of the nearness of Father’s day. For us both.

Many fathers are chosen – not only created by birthright.

Some relationships are started on genetics, on “family ties.” You have many of those, too. I do, as well, and we are both lucky to have those ties. There are many iterations of “father/son” relationships and you are doing well, my little one.

Some are chosen when they make you a priority every day, and many weekends, teaching you things from how to “go potty with manners” to how to nail the perfect hook shot to how to hammer a nail to to how to ride a bike. #TheOGDadDM

Some are chosen when they make you their love, their object of devotion. #STA #amen

Some are chosen when they coach you about basketball or baseball or Jiu Jitsu or swimming or tennis or life – day in, day out. “You can be the best player there this week.” “Henry is competitive and wants every ball, but he also wants to make sure every teammate is helped up off the ground.” “Oh, Henry’s your kid? Yep, that Henry…he’s quite a baller.” #JDM #CM #TL #CM #Machado #Kyle #GV #CoachEdge

Some are chosen when they teach you a cool “just between us” high five. This is a first for you and something that healed the lost ‘you didn’t get the shoulder rides like other kids’ that killed me, as your mom. #CD

Some are chosen when your face darkens and says, “I don’t want him to leave,” because he’s the guy that held you in his hand. #TheDude

Some are chosen when they take a train, fly in a place, sit in a car, and then step out of the car to play the promised basketball game. Furthermore, these fathers sit with you (when you are crying on your mom’s bed because they are leaving) and tell you “it’s strong to cry.” They also cry when they are leaving you at the airport. #FD

Some are chosen when they spend time in BBQ joints and in a variety of sports venues showing you that you matter. #JH

Some grandfathers are chosen when they play games with a mailbox slot for 20 minutes just to elicit a laugh. #Bop

Some grandfathers are given & chosen when they hold your hand and whisper, “I was in this very place many years ago,” in downtown Dallas, after traveling thousands of miles.#AD

Some grandfathers are given & chosen when they hold you, freshly-born, and whisper, “Welcome to our family, little boy,” in Switzerland, after traveling thousands of miles. #RJA

Father’s Day is a day to celebrate these men. To celebrate the people identifying as male and recognize that you identify with them, for now.

I am the eternal worrywart, a genetic trait from your great grandfather, and I’ll always wonder what else I can do to make the joy in your life fuller, healthier, more robust, more authentic, and lasting. It’s my wish for all the children in my life. How do I help to do that or help to enable that?

Here’s one answer that is clear to me, as I stare down the dreaded Father’s day: take a breath.

They’ve got you.